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Timeline
This is a comprehensive timeline of all major events leading up to the Roast Lord Anime. Major Events 13.4 billion BCE * The universe explodes into existence. Theorized creation of the Primordials. 12 billion BCE * The Primordials create the Nexus on a desert world. 10 billion BCE * SandCat Appears. Circa 8 billion BCE * The War in heaven takes place. * An unknown being inscribes the destruction of the Obamids onto a slab of Osmium. 8.5 billion BCE * The War in Heaven ends and the Dark Ones are banished to the Abyss. * The first known Roast Lord, Shao, appears. It is likely he was created by the Primordials as a safeguard from future incursions by the Dark Ones. * The Primordials teleport the Nexus and the solar system that houses it to a space outside of the multiverse. 6 billion BCE * Prasad creates Allah and the first Arabs on a distant world. 5 billion BCE * The first recorded Council of Roast Lords is assembled by Shao. * Shao inadvertently starts the creation of the Sol System by flying through a cloud of gas and dust. 4.6-4.4 billion BCE * The Sol system forms, including Earth. * The Primordials dissappear. 3 billion BCE * Shao and his Roast Lords battle an unknown enemy. The corpse of one of the Roast Lords enters the atmosphere of Jupiter and would eventually become the great red spot. * Shao crashes on Earth and becomes dormant, resting within the outer core. 1.5 billion BCE * The first land-based life arises on earth. * Primitive inhabitants of Mars build a temple to an unknown Roast Lord. 65 million BCE * Shao awakens and accidentally causes the Cretacious-Tertiary extinction event. 15 million BCE * The Argilytes begin evolving on Gidan. 10 million BCE * The Antahari begin evolving on Antahari prime. 7 million BCE * The first humans evolve on earth. * The earliest known human worship of the Roast Lords begins, guided by Shao and the first known version of Carl's Dad. 4 million BCE * The Ven begin evolving on Achian. * An unknown being, possibly a Roast Lord, tampers with the Antahari's evolution, which leads them to later resemble earth animals. * Shao dissappears. 2 million BCE * The inhabitants of Mars become extinct. * The Argilytes form their first cohesive society. 300,000 BCE * The first modern humans appear in Africa. * The Antahari form their first cohesive society. * Rumored sightings of the Primordials are recorded. 200,000 BCE * The first Human roast lord, Kaha, joins the current council. * It is speculated that the first Thot-corrupted Humans appear around this time. 12,000 BCE * Iskerai the god-king is born on Antahari prime. 8,000 BCE * First known recordings of the Cult of the Roast date back to this time. 2,900 BCE * The Antahari, under the rule of the Five Gilded Emperors, achieve spaceflight and send colony ships out into the universe. 2,700 BCE * The Ven achieve spaceflight and begin setting up outposts on their moon. 2,500 BCE * An unknown Egyptian Pharaoh inscribes an obelisk with the story of a Roast Lord. * The Ven are attacked by an unknown, devastating force, and are reduced to a primitive civilization. 2,200 BCE * The Antahari civil war begins. 2,140 BCE * The Antahari civil war ends. Their population has been reduced by 80%, several subspecies of Antahari have become extinct, and they have been reduced to a medieval-tier civilization. 100 BCE * The Roast Lord Gaius Julius Caesar is born. 70 BCE * The poet Virgil is born on earth. March 15, 44 BCE * Gaius Julius Caesar is assassinated in Rome. 30 BCE * The Cult of the Roast becomes official in Rome. 19 BCE * Virgil dies, but not before having a vision of the furry war. 6 BCE * The Roast lord Yeshua, later known as Jesus, is created by the current Roast Lord Council and placed in the village of Bethlehem. 26 ACE * Yeshua is crucified. Christianity begins. 37 ACE * The Roast Lord that would later be known as Emperor Nero is born. 64 ACE * Nero, having gone rouge, burns down Rome. 68 ACE * Nero is hunted down and assassinated by another Roast Lord for his crimes. 1096 ACE * The Crusades begin, inspired by a vision from the Roast Lord Council. 1812 ACE * Marmy bob is born in what would later become Old Texas. * Carl's dad fights another roast lord on Titan. 1824 ACE * An unknown Roast Lord, possibly Carl's dad, gifts Marmy Bob the Big Iron and immortality. * The Antahari regain their pre-civil war level of technology. 1961 ACE * Obama is born from the influences of the Dark Ones. * Thot-corrupted humans increase in appearance on earth. Circa 1980-1990 ACE * Robert Hayes briefly witnesses the entire history and future of the universe, including events such as the destruction of New Kanis and Big Shaq's betrayal by Malsum. Robert's mind is destroyed in the process. August 10, 1991 ACE * Big Shaq is born on earth, along with his five brothers. The Roast Lord Council theorizes Big Shaq to be a reincarnation of Shao. 2001 ACE * The first incarnation of Hamza is born in what would later become Neo-Pakistan. 2002 ACE * Carl's Dad and an unknown human woman sire the first incarnation of Carl Duncan. * Marty Robbins, inspired by tales of Marmy Bob, releases the song Big Iron. August 6, 2003 ACE * The first incarnation of the Traveler is born in what would later become Italo-Japania. 2015 ACE * First unofficial contact between Humanity and the Antahari is made. 2017 ACE * Big Shaq releases Man's Not Hot. * The first incarnations of the Traveler, Carl, and Hamza meet for the first time. These are the first incarnations in Roast Lord history to somehow have knowledge of their future as roast lords. They attempt to warn people about Thots, but are ignored. Circa 2020 ACE * The first incarnation of Hamza is teleported to the Abyss by unknown methods, where he is saved by a future version of Carl. However, he believes it was all a dream. 2030 ACE * The first official Human colony is set up on Luna, Earth's moon. * The Antahari quell their first civil insurrection in years. 2044 ACE * Humans land their first manned mission to Mars and begin setting up a colony there. * The Argilyte discover the Ven, but choose to not engage directly with them. 2071 ACE * The Terraforming of Mars begins. 2096 ACE * The Nations of Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iran unify into Neo-Pakistan. * The first true AI is created by Microsoft, and promptly switched off for "Obvious reasons." 2105 ACE * America becomes the first nation to adopt Railgun-Type weapons for military use. * Due to leaps in technology, Mars' atmosphere is almost breathable. * C02 in Earth's atmosphere has been reduced by 78%. 2260 ACE * Marmy Bob defends the Lunar town of New Princeton from a large gang of raiders. * The maximum computational power for standard computers is reached. 2290 ACE * Mars' atmosphere has become breathable by humans. * The International Space Station, now a tourist attraction, is moved to Lunar orbit due to the increased amount of Kessler-Syndrome induced space debris threatening it. * Plans for the colonization of Jupiter's moons are drafted. 2300 ACE * The city of New Tucson on mars opens a ski resort on Olympus Mons, the "System's scariest ski spot." * The armies of the United States and Russia have become 70% mechanical. * Carl's dad appears briefly in orbit over Phobos, before disappearing. 2325 ACE * The revolutionary Jensen-Ivanov Near Light Speed (NLS) drive is created, massively shortening travel time for space voyages. The "Sol System Rush" begins, an era of hugely increased colonization of the Sol System. * The Antahari make first contact with the Argilytes. 2391 ACE * Quantum computing is perfected. 2400 ACE * The first Anti-Gravity plates are invented. * Global warming and pollution on earth have been reduced by 98% since the early 21st century. 2620 ACE * Mercury has been strip-mined to produce materials for a prototype Dyson Sphere. * Venus has been rendered partially habitable. * Mars now heavily resembles Earth in terms of Environment. 2750 ACE * The population of Mars has surpassed that of Earth. * Venus has been completely terraformed. * The entire American continent, including south America and Canada, are now technically owned by the United States. 2890 ACE * The First Interplanetary war breaks out between Earth and Mars. * The Antahari discover the Voyager-1 probe. * The jovian moons of Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto, along with the Saturnian moons of Titan, Iapetus, and Rhea have been colonized and terraformed. 2893 ACE * The First interstellar war ends in a truce between Mars and Earth, overseen by the government of venus. * Crystallized-Ionic data encryption is created, making digital storage obsolete. 2900 ACE * The Solis-Class warp drive is created, allowing faster-then light travel. * Humanity launches colonization efforts to other solar systems. 3100 ACE * The Galactic Republic of Mankind, which helps govern the Sol System and all other Systems colonized by Humanity is established, with its capital on Earth. * Official first contact between Humans and the Antahari happens with an Antahari diplomatic ship warping into orbit above Earth. 3390 ACE * The Scholar Negrodomus is born. * The original version of Leonardo Da Vinci's "Mona Lisa" is placed as one of the official treasures of Humanity. * Marmy Bob is seen bringing a criminal to justice on the Human frontier world of Ptolemy 1. * The average Human lifespan has reached 370 Solar years. 3440 ACE * Negrodomus begins cataloging various sightings of Marmy Bob and several Roast Lords throughout history. He finds a near-perfect condition Thot Patrol poster on earth, dating back more than a thousand years. 3722 ACE * Earth's sun has a partial Dyson Sphere built around it. 4200 ACE * More then half of the Milky Way galaxy has been colonized. * The destruction of Phobos due to mining has given Mars a system of rings. * Humanity's population numbers in the trillions. * An unknown, humanoid entity (likely a Roast Lord) is spotted on the surface of Sol. 4303 ACE * The Thots begin breaking out of the Abyss. The first recorded encounter with one happens near the Hieronymous Delta region of the Galaxy, but is believed to be a hoax. 4800 ACE * Expeditions into alternate dimensions and realities by Humanity begin. * The Thots escape the Abyss and begin moving through the Elysian Shore region of the galaxy. * Marmy Bob disappears. 5012 ACE * The Thots begin destroying inhabited worlds in Antahari space, prompting a military response from them, although the rest of the galaxy is left oblivious to this. * Phoenix, the future Antahari Lord of Admirals, is born. 5051 ACE * The Thots begin corrupting human-inhabited worlds, which are then swiftly destroyed by the Antahari. Seen as an act of aggression by the Galactic Republic of Mankind, they declare war. The Furry War begins. * The current incarnation of the Traveler appears in a bolt of lightning on the shores of the Lithium Beach on earth. 5066 ACE * Paracausal anomalies caused by the Thot's incursion into our universe increase. * The Traveler joins the Interstellar Navy of the Galactic Republic of Mankind, and rises to the rank of High Praetorian, commanding 20% of the Navy. 5092 ACE * An emergency council is convened on earth to discuss the Furry War. The Traveler and a disguised Carl's Dad are present. 5109 ACE * The Argilytes and their home planet of Gidan are destroyed by the Thots. * The Osmium Slab depicting the fall of the Obamids is discovered on the Human world of Antium. * The Carnifex-Class Artifical intelligence named Archedon (later known as Bismillah Hunter) is created to govern mechanized forces combatting the Antahari. 5120 ACE * The Antahari are pushed back to their home system. * The Thots begin converting the Hieronymous Delta region of the galaxy into a sort of "Reality bomb." * Paracausal anomalies begin interrupting travel through Hyperspace. 5130 ACE * The Antahari, under Phoenix, surrender to the Traveler over their homeworld of Antahari prime, ending the Furry War. Their population now number 12 billion (As opposed to the Pre-War number of over 7 trillion). 5138 ACE * On his deathbed, Phoenix reveals the Thots to the Traveler, and how the Antahari were fighting a two-sided war against them. The Great Thot War begins. 5171 ACE * Due to the increasing occurrence of Paracausal events in the Galaxy, more Roast Lords begin appearing. * Carl's dad creates Carl beneath the Alps on earth, using his own genetic code and the soul of Carl's first incarnation. 5200 ACE * The first known Roast Lord Council since the early 21st century is assembled to combat the Thots. Members include The Traveler, Hamza, Carl, Malsum, Carl's dad, Big Shaq, Vovin, Bill n'ai, Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawking, Yakuran, and Basmaat. 5640 ACE * Despite the Council's best efforts, over half the galaxy has fallen to the Thots. * Big Shaq single-handedly defends Earth against five Thots. * Nearly corrupted due to his long exposure against the Thots, Bill n'ai destroys himself upon the world of Achaia. The resulting blast destroys seven nearby star systems. 6010 ACE * More than three-fourths of the Galaxy have fallen to the Thots. The remaining sentient species begin evacuating the Galaxy. * The amount of Paracausal disruption caused by the Great Thot War begins interfering with the fabric of reality. * The Thots destroy Stephen Hawking by trapping him between two exploding suns. 6040 ACE * Parcausal disruption has rendered hyperspace travel impossible to everyone except the Roast Lords. * Malsum is corrupted by the Thots. * The very laws of physics begin to unwind due to Paracausal disruption. 6063 ACE * Malsum destroys earth. * Nearly all of the Milky Way has been taken over by the Thots. Most forms of known life are extinct. 6069 ACE * The Traveler and Carl imprison Malsum in a pocket dimension that would later be known as the Prison of Pep. 6100 ACE * Realizing the war was futile, the Council of Roast Lords channel all their power into Carl's Dad, who uses it to seal away himself and all the Thots into the Abyss. The resulting Paracausal shockwave tears the multiverse asunder. This marks the end of reality as we know it, with the only vestiges being left are Realms. Circa 16,069 ACE * The events of the Roast Lord Anime begin.